My head can’t decide where I am or how I am. It has lost communication with my body. I don’t know if this is some moment on pause or an in-between or a forever. Time moves differently here.
I am ahead of myself – trying to skip to the end of the book, trying to read and desperately thumbing the pages scouring for the phrase “happily ever after.”
Or maybe I’m behind and I’ve read it all before and I am trying to remind myself of something. Something. What was it? What is it?
Memory works in funny ways, doesn’t it? Tossing forward and back. Sometimes I get seasick from it. Seasick of it.
Am I in a dream or is this something else? I seem to have discovered purgatory and it looks like the world I am trying to become accustomed to with each step and each breath. I think that maybe this isn’t about “or”, but “and.”
As the water drip-runs over my head I think too hard. Maybe it will turn to steam.
One time someone told me something about life becoming a dream.
If you pinch me too hard, I’ll bruise.